Someone forgot to start with what the target market actually wanted or needed.
What did they start with?
They started with what THEY wanted to sell. Yes, as marketers we're in the business of demand generation. But it's much easier to stimulate demand when we consider the wants or needs of those who want to buy...and not your OWN desires.
It happens for an obvious reason.
Being brutally honest: We're MUCH more interested in ourselves than others.
Don't believe me? When you get sent a photo (of Facebook photo album) who do you look for in the photos?
So....improve any marketing activity. Stop and remember it's NOT about you. It's about your customer.
So ALWAYS ask yourself what the customer wants, what's important from the customer's perspective, what's in it for THEM.
This is a "zero budget" means of improving ANY campaign activity or copy you'll ever write.